Hacked Again!!!!!

Seriously?!?! This is the last time I will be changing my email address and using Yahoo. If I get hacked again, I will be taking my email business elsewhere! What is so attractive about my email? It is just the usual generic crap. No government secrets or photos of crashed UFO's.
Just boring sales from Pottery Barn, eBay updates, blah blah blah...
So as I frantically try and change everything over before deleting the compromised account, emails are flying out at lightning speed! I especially love the weight loss ads being sent to my seriously skinny 16 year old and the hair loss and male enhancement ads being sent to my kids school trustee. Awesome!!
By the time I manage to create a new address and change everything over, the hacker has managed to send crap to everyone in my contacts. Who has time for this? Is someone out there seriously spending time trying to get into my email so they can spam my friends? Omg! That is so sad! I'm not that interesting! Trust me.

So in the mean time, if you get a message from me offering time share deals, weight loss plans, or 5 easy tips for a better sex life.... Just delete.
Please.

Day Make up vs Evening Make up (learn the difference)

I love the new smokey look eyeshadow that you see on tv and make up ads. The problem is that it is not only difficult to replicate, (without looking like you're Chris Brown's latest victim), it's also not an appropriate look for 98% of the time. A wedding, or any formal event this would look great. Going to get groceries, not so much. Since the look is usually paired with false eyelashes you end up looking like a raccoon whore with bamboo shoots growing up of your eyelids. That is why is is a NIGHT time look only. Lets face it, harsh sunlight is not our friend.
Except for Charlize Theron and Cindy Crawford... And they can both just bite me.
Everyone should have a friend that can tell them, "ease up on the face paint Missy. You look like Ronald McDonald." If not, you will be mocked. Maybe not directly to your crayola coloured face, but it will happen.
The only possible exceptions to the "No False Eyelashes and Heavy Shadow" rule are girls participating in a dance competition within the next two hours or drag queens.
The dancers still look ridiculous, but at least they have a reason.
The drag queens however, just look fabuloussssss!!!
And just in case you think you are fooling people with the falsies (lashes and otherwise) and try to get away with claiming its all natural.... You're not. So as Bob Newhart would say,

STOP IT !!!

(Just for giggles, search 'Bob Newhart Stop It' in YouTube)

Valentines Day. Why I love/hate it

Valentines Day is just around the corner. Ugh.  Every single woman gets her red satin heart patterned panties in a bunch over this day every year.   They all say its stupid and who needs it!!!  And then secretly weep while they consume an entire heart shaped box of chocolates.  Okay not EVERY woman...but quite a few.
I love that for one day a year, we are required to proclaim our love for our partners.  Only one day.

No more, no less.
Sad.

As if the concept of this day isn't weird enough, the fact that we are soooooo damn busy in our world today, we can't even call it valentines day. Now it's more often than not, referred to as V Day.  Am I the only one that finds this disturbing and perhaps somewhat vulgar?  Maybe because it sounds to close to VD.  Which for everyone over the age of 20 is what STDs were called a million years ago.   Even if it doesn't bring to mind mental images of oozing sores on someone's junk, it also sounds like an abbreviated way to say Vagina Day.  I'm going avoid the obvious connection to valentines day and connect it to another type of v day. 

 Pap day.  

Either way, not very romantic.  Even if my ob/gyn shows up with flowers and chocolate will that day ever be worth celebrating.  
At any rate, I say celebrate love every day. Especially when your partner least expects it!  Don't become a Hallmark zombie and show up once a year with a card and over priced roses!   It means more when it isn't prompted by endless TV commercials.

That being said, if my husband doesn't produce something with a serious carat weight, I will be seriously upset.