School Dress Codes (Stupid and Necessary)

With the first warm days of spring comes the most exhausting and ridiculous debate of the season...

School Dress Codes.

I can appreciate the need for dress codes since I've seen far too many girls walk around with their asses hanging out of the back of their shorts.  

I'm not talking short shorts... I'm talking 'holy crap I can see her ovaries' short shorts.  

I don't care what size you are, if there is ass cheek dangling underneath the hem of your shorts, they have just become an extra large belt... Not shorts.  So what is an acceptable length you ask?  Hell if I know!   My daughters school goes by the rule of fingertip.  The shorts need to go to the tips of your fingertips if you keep your hands straight by your sides.  I'm not sure who decided this was a good measure because it's somewhat random.  She has a friend who is shorter than her yet has longer arms, this poor girl would be forced to wear Bermudas she's had to borrow from her father to be wearing what is deemed appropriate.  I have short arms and would be wearing something very different.  You see the problem here?  Until we dictate and control not only how they dress, but how long their arms are, this rule is somewhat vague.  I think a standard three inch inseam for everyone would be good.  However, I'm not sure who they would convince to stand at the door of her high school with a tape measure and be on "Crotch Control".  I'm quite certain that there would be no volunteers from the staff willing to measure inseams all day... 

And if there is, fire their ass ASAP!!  

On the flip side of this, if the girls shorts can't be cut too high, then the boys pants need to be pulled the frick up!  Dangling ass cheeks are just as nasty and seeing a boy with his pants so low they aren't even on his ass.  I'm talking about the idiot who wears them just below his butt. Seriously?  These so called pants just became a one piece leg warmer type garment.  If the crotch of the pants is at the knees, they are no longer pants...they are just stupid.  If a guy sits down at a desk and the only thing separating him from the wooden seat is a thin layer of cotton with an American Eagle waist band, then he needs to pull his pants up.  

Underwear is meant to be UNDER.  It's right there in the damn name!!!!!

Now let's move on to the dreaded bra strap issue.  I for one, have no issue with seeing straps.  Just be grateful the girls are even wearing bras in the first place.  (Although I've never been a fan of the whole, tube top with bra straps ensemble.  Strapless bra... Buy one.)

However, if a girl is wearing a tank and you can see her straps I don't really see the issue.  They're straps. No one has ever died or gone clinically insane from seeing them.  If I hear the argument one more time that this is distracting to the boys however, I may go insane.  It's a high school...if you think that seeing bra straps is distracting to the boys and just makes them think of sex I have a news flash for you...

They were already thinking about sex.  

You know how I know this?  They are teenage boys and they are awake.  

Actually that's not fair... They also think about sex while they are sleeping, so let's not blame the straps.  

Again, as long as the shirt covers a girls stomach (this includes when she puts her hands up) and there isn't four inches of cleavage spilling out of the top, I'm fine. I know the boobies are new, and like a kid with a new bike, they want to show them off, however, no one wants to see them.  Ok, the boys want to see them, but they are teenage boys and aren't that bright once cleavage enters the room.  For that matter this rule applies to most grown men so I won't just pick on the teens.  Basic rule, just cover you boobs.  Done.  

There are also the new yoga type tops that have a bandeau underneath and draping arm holes.  The problem with these is that an inch of rib cage is exposed.  

Oh no....rib cage.  Shocking... 

So what is the answer to this issue?  School uniforms?  I say fine!  Issue uniforms and end this debate, but then we get in to the whole problem of people who can't afford uniforms and kids not being able to express their indviduality.  Ugh... Teenagers expressing themselves is a slippery slope.  I choose to not even try and debate that.  

Here it is...

Cover your boobs

Cover your belly

Pull up your damn pants

No ass cheeks please

Done...

Except for Halloween.  That's when dressing like a total whore is not only acceptable, it is pretty much the norm.  

Just for the record, I'm pretty sure these would not be allowed at school.  Although let's appreciate the fact that this skank chose to actually wear underwear...