Sarcazma, Queen of the Obvious: Merry Christmas! OKAY?!?!?

Ahhh, Christmas... that magical time of year when I can sit on my couch and watch the beautiful little lights on my Christmas tree twinkle along with the soothing holiday music. I can look out my window and see the huge snowflakes seemingly take forever to tumble to the ground and balance delicately on the branches of the giant trees in my front yard. You know that sound a record makes when you drag the needle across it? Insert that sound here...

I can sit on my couch; awkwardly positioned in my living room to allow for the half assembled entertainment unit it is facing. Any happy Christmas tunes attempted at being heard are being drowned out by the sound of drills being used to attach the last pieces to my new cabinets. And Christmas tree??? I have a sad little 10" tree on a small table in the window that basically conveys the message,
"Yes, we are Christians and YES we know it's Christmas. THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO RIGHT NOW!!"

The last thing to save the lack of Christmas spirit permeating in my half finished house is the beautiful snow, blah blah blah. I look outside and see giant naked trees; brown and sad, looking at me hopelessly as if to say, "We ditched our leaves for THIS?!? Seriously?? We are naked out here. NAKED!!!"

The road is covered with remnants of snow, which has basically become big patches of dirty ice. The only thing that made me feel better about not getting the yard put back together before winter was that the ugliness of it would be hidden under a blanket of white snow, hiding the grossness until spring...Yeah... didn't happen. Bumpy brown dirt is sitting out there mocking me. "nice yard, Redneck!"
Our reno addition that was started in the spring was supposed to be done by September, middle of October at the latest. Here we are, less than a week before Christmas and I still do not have plumbing in my kitchen. Ahh yes... I remember the good ole days when I could go into my kitchen...turn on a tap... and water came out. Now THAT was living! This morning I was washing a few mugs out to be put back into the cabinets. This involved filling a bucket with water (from my bathtub) and washing them in there. Yeah... that was fun. After the water cooled and needed to be replaced for the second time, I managed to utter a wonderfully "un-Christmas like" word and was done for the day. I think I've been fairly patient throughout this adventure, with only minor intermittent bitching. Although in my defense, before we even started I did inform my husband that there would be whining, to which he replied "Yes; shocking".