Boneless Chicken Wings? I think not...

   All of a sudden there are various ads for restaurants advertising their

                      NEW Boneless Chicken Wings. 

Wings are one of my absolute favourite foods of all times, so I asked myself, how on earth do they get the little bones out those suckers???  Long story short, my husband ordered them recently (basically because he doesn't understand my love for wings and will not even try to eat something that takes that much time to consume.  Like most men, he's a stick a fork in it and eat... no muss, no fuss)  Anyway... he orders these "wings" and what he receives makes me laugh at first, then become angry.  Basically, they took chicken breasts (yuck) cut them into wing size strips and then cooked them in the wing sauce.  Seriously?  This somehow makes them wings?  So If I put the sacred wing sauce on my left foot it becomes a "wing"???  Calling it a wing doesn't make it true.  And if a person is too lazy to eat an actual wing, I say big deal!  My husband doesn't eat them and has managed to lead a fairly full life.  More wings for me!  Putting wing sauce on other pieces of meat no more makes them wings as putting baby powder on my ass makes me a baby.  Quit messing with the wings people!!

Another example of this sort of thinking is the ever popular, ice cream cake.  Just because something is "cake-shaped" it does not magically become a cake. 

    THERE IS NO CAKE IN AN ICE CREAM CAKE!!!! 

I want to make a meatloaf in a cake pan and market it as "Meat Cake".  Mmmm... that gets the taste buds rockin'!   So you serve this psuedo cake thing at a birthday... what do you put on it?  A real cake would have ice cream put on it, so you see where this is going...
Why must we slice and serve ice cream? 

          A scoop not good enough for you princess?!? 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the creation itself (I used to decorate the things way back in the day) but please don't call it a cake.  The shape of the food does not dictate what it becomes.  Call it what it is. 
So hey there Mr. Ice Cream Cake... get over yourself!  You're just a pile of frickin ice cream!

It's just a name you say?  It's false advertising and I for one will be it's victim no longer! 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and put some make-up on and become a Cover-Girl.