Why I get Bullied on Pink Tshirt Day

This is not my typical light commentary.  But then again, this not a typical day ...

Imagine for a moment that where you work the building has poisonous snakes roaming free.  Not hundreds...just enough to make you aware that at any moment you could be bitten.  This is just part of your work enviroment and you accept it as such.  Now imagine that the bosses answer to this problem is having vials of anti-venom in each office.  So this way, if you are bitten you can just get an injection and you won't die. 

Put a bandaid on it and go about your day.  The problem is solved.  

This is how our schools are handling bullies.  After a student is bullied, they get a little pep talk.  Discuss why it happened and offer counselling and some coping strategies.  

Put a bandaid on it and go about your day.  The problem is solved.  

Instead of removing the source of poison, we teach the kids that there is something wrong with them.  How do you explain to a child that is struggling with this issue that THEY need to seek help?  Why not eliminate the problem?  Seriously, we all know the ones that are causing the problems. I'm not talking about the ones who say they didn't like someone's shoes one day.  I'm talking about the ones who day after day, relentlessly harass other students about everything they possibly can. The word 'bully' is being over used.  But I think if a person is being affected to a point where it changes who they and how they live then yes, they are being bullied.  Don't say, "I agree this shouldn't have happened, and yes it is terrible.  How can you avoid this in the future?"

  I shit you not when I say I've actually heard a teacher/administrator say, " what did you do to make them act this way?"

Don't put a bandaid on it and walk away. Underneath the bandaid are the teeth marks of the snake.  Inside the heart of that student is the fear that around the next corner is another snake waiting to strike.  You can't expect someone who has been attacked by a snake to pick one up and try to understand it.  To accept it.  Everything that happened to us is a learning experience.  What are we teaching our children?

Now once a year let's dress those snakes in pretty pink shirts. (The visual is amusing). Let's tell the kids that the snakes are really just like us and attack out of fear.  Now let's watch the snakes who are hiding in their pink shirts still bite.  The shirt doesn't make a difference.  Yes, I get that its symbolic and blah blah blah...

But how about we actually do something?  Tonight on the news and in the papers we will see our public officials and school boards in their mandatory pink attire.  That's awesome.... What about tomorrow when a child is mocked for not wearing the right brand of jacket or some other bullshit reason?  Don't preach empathy from behind a shirt.  Live it, model it, and enforce it.  

Tomorrow we go back to anti venom and band aids. Then we sit back and wonder why it isn't working.  Eventually your body builds up and immunity to the anti venom and the poison courses through your veins.  Only then do we all get in an uproar that another child has succumbed to the poison.  The snake has won...does it care?   No.  It moves on to its next victim never running out of poison.  

I wish I could be more articulate in conveying my opinion, but the words escape me. 

Two easy words sum it up.  

Be nice.