Fairy Tales, I just don't get it. First all, the label is misleading since they don't all have a fairy in them. I could be reading along...patiently waiting for the fairy character to appear, and then I get to the end of the book. NO FAIRY! What a rip off! Perhaps the wolf in the "Three Little Pigs" would've had better luck if he had a fairy on his side. Just sayin... but I digress.
I have often wondered about the validity of these stories, and yes, even as a child I was this cynical. Lets look at "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" for a moment. First of all, who names a child Goldilocks? OK, I get it's not a real story, and she's not a real person, but couldn't the story teller put a little more effort into naming his characters? Goldilocks? Seriously? What if she was a child with an abnormally large butt? "Fat Ass and the Three Bears" ? Now THAT'S a story I can get on board with. The bears are no better, Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear... they are gonna feel stupid when baby bear is all grown up and having to walk around the forest with the name Baby. All the other animals will laugh and make fun of him. There's no way he's ever getting a date...his life is ruined. Live at home forever with Papa and Mama you loser!
Onto the actual story. The premise is that the bears porridge is too hot, so they decide to go for a walk in the forest to wait for it to cool down. I would like to know exactly how hot is this porridge that it requires them to leave the premises and wander around for awhile?
Was this porridge made in middle earth?
Why is it so hot? Good grief you lazy bears!!!
Just scoop some up and blow on it for Pete's sake!!!
Next, our little miss Goldilocks breaks into the bears house, which we all know is just the first step to a life of crime. Before you know it, she's knocking off liquor stores and selling cotton candy flavoured crack to Snow White and her posse. Anyway, she breaks in, bitches about how uncomfortable their furniture is, eats their food and then thinks it is acceptable to climb into each of their beds. Just a quick note on the beds... we read quickly through the part where the Papa and Mama have separate beds. This sort of marital discord is unacceptable in a child's story. The bears private lives is none of our concern. Perhaps Papa wouldn't have his own bed if Mama learned how to cook properly! Anyway, enough about the sex life (or lack thereof) of our bears. Goldilocks ends her adventure in the baby's bed. Which I find a little creepy because if this story was about the family down the street and they came home to find some blond haired tart sleeping in their kids bed, the story would have a very different ending. Why is it all cute and cuddly because its a bear family? Bears are not the most heart warming creatures...they can kill you. Why not a rabbit family, or squirrels?? Because she wouldn't fit into a squirrel bed you say? You're forgetting that in my version of the story, the squirrel house is situated next to a nuclear power plant and the squirrels have grown to be six feet tall. So there!
At any rate, I'm just not buying the premise that this is a suitable story for children. If you think this is bad, you don't even want to know what my thoughts are on "Red Riding Hood".
I know that everyone is caught up in the latest Survivor or Bachelor series, but I can NOT stand these idiotic programs! Lets put aside the fact that there are gazillions of writers out of jobs because of our latest fascination with watching other peoples "reality".
Lets, for a moment, discuss reality. Now; last I checked I am surrounded by reality. In fact some days I am drowning in it! My life is pretty good, better than some, worse than others, so why would I want to watch others peoples crap when I have my own? Likewise, if my life is momentarily crap-free, then why would I want to fill mine with theirs?? I will admit when Survivor first reared it's ugly head back in 1788 (approx) I was watching. The first couple shows were good until the whole strategy thing became an issue. It's not so much a strategy as a plan to
1. Make secret alliances with the person directly to the left of you swearing undying loyalty until the end of time. (Unless it's just the two of you left on the island, and in that case, that bitch is on her own.
2. Make a second secret alliance with the person directly to the right of you swearing undying loyalty until the end of time. This alliance of course is complete garbage and you are just screwing with them to get info about other peoples plans. Essentially, you have to toss everything you learned about being a decent person and become that evil chick we all knew in high school.
3. The third and most important part (This applies to the females only) you must, and I mean MUST either be sporting a DD in an A cup bikini, or an A cup and just wear the headband/buff thing as a tube top. Part this also involves you jumping up and down as much as possible in case people have forgotten to look at your boobs for a moment.
This program does provide entertainment in the way of difficult challenges, but my biggest gripe with the show is that it ultimately rewards people for being mean. They do everything that we teach our children not to and they win money and fame. It is a sad revelation that this is where we are as a civilization.
Now, on to "The Bachelor"...
Sadly, this is not my usual type of post. I felt compelled to write something about this and here it is. In all it's ugliness...
I'll admit when I first saw the whole "Most Beautiful Teenager" thing on FB I wondered which pedophile thought of this one. I mean seriously? Encouraging teenagers to post their picture so the world can tell them whether or not they are beautiful. Yikes... that poses a million different problems but I am going to focus on just a couple.
First of all, most of these kids are indeed gorgeous. What is saddening is that they need the rest of the world to adore them as well. They know they are attractive... they can see the pictures as well as we can. What makes them want to still gain the approval of the universe...well...human nature and insecurity I guess. But still, it is disturbing.
What I find more disturbing is the trend to post pictures of kids that are either handicapped (sorry, not sure what the latest PC description is)or disfigured from either a disease or accident. So now we must crawl into the head of your average teen, which is frightening in itself, and try and sort out the thought process. They look at this person and know they are not what society deems as physically attractive. Whether these standards are fair or not, I don't want to discuss, it is a personal opinion. However, these people do in fact look very different from what this contest is looking for. So if a kid looks at this picture and DOESN'T vote for them they automatically think less of themselves for being so shallow and picking the girl with the perfect little nose and big brown eyes. It is messing with their heads. Lets imagine two pictures... one of the gorgeous girl and one of a girl who is disfigured in some way. The contest is for the most beautiful right? It is safe to say they mean physical beauty because if that wasn't what they wanted you to vote on, then you would need more than a picture.
What do they do in their spare time? What are the persons moral beliefs? What are their opinions on social issues?????
Most people would pick the brown eyed girl in private but if their choice was made public they would choose the other one. This causes self esteem issues for everyone...
They aren't picking the person they want to, they are picking the person they think they should because honestly, yes, the perfect looking kid is more attractive. In order to make this choice we need to know more about the person.
That being said... we are assuming that the pretty girl is a raging narcissistic beast and the other girl is a warm, caring child who would do no wrong. What if that assumption if wrong? Just because a person looks one way on the outside, it doesn't mean that automatically look the opposite on the inside. We all know people of different levels of outward beauty and I think we can agree that some are indeed evil and some are in fact the nicest people we know. At the same time, who's to say the untraditional looking person isn't a bad person on the inside. We all know these people too!!
I know I sound heartless towards some of these kids and I don't mean to. The few that I saw that looked different we submitted by friends or family. They are trying to convinve their friend/child that the whole world thinks they are as beautiful as their friends and family. Why do they need this reassurance? Not everyone finds the same thing beautiful and I don't know these kids well enough to make that judgement. It results in votes out of guilt, because no, they aren't as physically attractive as some of the others. With that being said, who cares?!?! A lot of people find Angelina Jolie beautiful... I think she looks like a bobble head doll with facial features much too large for her head. So what does it matter??
This whole contest is ridiculous I think has the potential to create more harm than good in the brains of our children. If it were a contest about who is the better person, (which btw is a better idea) then all looks would be considered because it would have no bearing. Because it specifically asks for what we deem "beautiful" I think it should remain that way. Perhaps a contest on the most "Beautiful Soul" should be considered??
Or, perhaps, we just leave this sort of thing alone and each enjoy beauty in its own way without having to compare and create winners and losers out of every ridiculous thing on the planet.
So here's the deal.... EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way. Some in a traditional physical manner others by who they are and what they do. Having the planet vote on this will make no difference. Do not seek approval from the planet...it lies, it's shallow. Trust the opinions of those who love you unconditionally.
A person is as beautiful as the person they see when they close their eyes and see themselves from the inside. Unless of course it is only important to you that you are physically beautiful and that the FB world agrees with you. In that caase, congrats on your gorgeousness...enjoy it now, because when you are 85 and no longer have your smooth skin and shining hair you will be miserable. And with any luck you will get to know that person who has had inner beauty their whole life and finally understand the meaning of the word.
Posts
