Granny Vans

I have noticed a disturbing trend lately. There seems to be a growing number of senior citizens driving mini vans. Why? I need to know!
What are these people doing that they need a vehicle that can carry seven people at a time? Are they planning a group attack somewhere? Are they driving around breaking their friends out of their houses late at night to drive around and vandalize playgrounds? What is the plan?!?!
Why the vans? Usually there is only one person in the van, sometimes two. Today I saw three men in one. Ok... I KNOW they are NOT going to Walmart to do their shopping. Tag team grocery shopping? I think not.
I think that since most minivans have the cute little sticker family on the rear window, the seniors should have to do this as well. Them, their four kids, fifteen grandchildren, five great children and various cats, dogs and other pets as well. So by now there is no clear space in the window making the rear view mirror completely useless. Although in their defence, I'm not sure most them are used anyway.

Nine time out of ten if I am cut of in traffic or behind some jackass going 20km/hr, it's a senior.  You can gripe about the teen drivers all you want.  The seniors are worse.  

Now, one of my best friends would be saying, " awww, be nice. What if it was you dad driving in front of you?"   My response?  

"I'd jump out of my car, walk along side his slow moving vehicle, reach in and grab license from his wallet."

Seriously?!?  If you can't follow the rules, don't play the game.  That is why the granny van syndrome is somewhat concerning.  I have a feeling they have heard my road rage through my blaring music and are planning an attack.  

So if I go missing, check the granny vans.  They will likely have me tied up and sedated with Ambien in the back seat.