Teenagers - Ugh!

Here's the thing... many years ago, more than anything, I wanted to have a baby.  Unlike the many 16 year old girls I see cruising the malls, I was not able to conceive easily.  Years of doctors, invasive exams, surgeries, fertility treatments, temperature taking, and charting, would eventually lead to the birth of a beautiful  baby boy.  Nine months after he was born, we learned another bundle was on its way.  No medical intervention necessary... a tiny miracle!  This time however, our little miracle was brought home all wrapped up in pink looking like a piece of bubblegum.  Life was perfect, we had everything we had dreamed of!

Fast forward 13 years...

OMG!  What have we done?!  We now have a 14 year old boy and a 13 year old girl living in our house.  What they did to our sweet little babies... I don't know... 
Teenage boys, here's the summary - 

Unless it is a video game, food or has boobs, they show very little interest.  School is simply a place to learn about new video games from friends or to spend their lunch hour in the cafeteria making jokes about boobs.  That's it...

Teenage girls, a whole other story...

            Just when you think you have her figured out, the rules change.  Everything you thought you knew about everything will be greeted with an eye roll and the mandatory exasperating "Tsk" created while she exhales.  The irony here, she looks and sounds just like her mother.  Damn it!!!  How fair is that?  I say not at all, but my mother has a very different take on this situation.  So as my mother sits back and laughs (I think she may have early stages of dementia because believe me, this is NOT funny) I am losing my mind at the hands of this hormonal mini me.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself and would jump in front of a moving train if I had to, it's just that some days, I feel the need to clunk their precious little heads together.
  So while I complained years ago about running like crazy to keep up with two toddlers I miss those days severely.  As long as they were clothed, fed and had a toy in their hands they were happy and all was right in the world.  Now they require certain clothes that THEY must pick out (because I have no taste ... who knew?), the food must be "non-yucky" (for the girl) and "never-ending" (for the boy).  The toys have turned in to various electronic gadgets so that they can be in touch with friends AT ALL TIMES.  God forbid someone sneezes in Science and they don't hear about it until Phys Ed.  Now THAT would be a national tragedy! 
 Aliens have taken over the bodies of my precious little angels and there is nothing I can do but sit and wait for the insanity to pass.  Hopefully everything I have taught them until now has stuck somewhere in those heads and they will return to civilization in 7 years or so and be normal once again.

  The only thing keeping me going some days?  One day, I hope they have kids just like them when they grow up!  Then it will be my turn to laugh...